


Timely

by kelopod



Category: Homestuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-24
Updated: 2012-11-23
Packaged: 2017-11-19 08:57:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/571497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kelopod/pseuds/kelopod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Time is not a constant. It can move backwards and forwards, from now to then, to back again, in a circle, a loop. It cannot be controlled, and it cannot, under any circumstances, be taken back once lost. </p><p>But time can be understood, and this alone is enough to bring hope to the poor souls who try to own it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Almost an Interval

Sollux Captor wished he was an average troll. He wished with all his might that he wasn’t plagued with the million problems he was constantly being pestered with on a daily basis. He desired with all his might to simply be left alone, to not be reminded of the mistake he made in coding the game, in inciting everyone to join and play. Not understood. No one cared about understanding, and no one would be able to achieve a level of such with him. Who could? His moods were too unstable to understand himself. But no one seemed to quite grasp this. Since he was hatched he always had to receive the short end of the stick, always stuck dealing with idiots that shouldn’t be allowed to have electricity ten feet from them. And these were simply things he had experienced when his lusus was still alive. A troll like him would expect to be alone, for the most part. But unfortunately for him, he had a large group of friends to keep him on his social toes and make sure to irritate him any chance they had. On occasions he wouldn’t mind, of course, when his mood welcomed it, however, there was always a moment one wanted to just disappear, or perhaps at least be granted some time alone to just think, or rest. It was especially needed after his apparent blunder with some game called Sgrub, which spiraled their friends into their doom and now had them trapped on a rapidly travelling meteor where they were now trying to contact and annoy the creatures that had messed up their winning session in the first place.

Needless to say, Sollux was less than interested in this endeavor. He could think of at least two things he’d rather do than talk to the humans. The first was sleeping. He’d so much rather rest than waste his energy on idiotic creatures that couldn’t even work out the simple codes for alchemization. The second depended on the first one. It was dreaming. Of course ever since their ‘fearless leader’ ordered them to not sleep no matter what, Sollux was forced to stay awake. He once did manage to rest for a moment, but instead of finding his usual either Prospit or Derse dream self, he was caught in a sort of void, until surroundings began to form. It was too foreign to be welcome by him, and so he bolted awake, not falling asleep since then. 

This specific night was not unlike many others. He sat at his desk, his feet up on the chair as his glasses reflected the trollian client, accompanied and surrounded by the stars from each universe. He let out a small grunt as his screen filled with grey insults, orders, and general ranting from just about every small thing Sollux could even think of. Possibly even his breathing.

 

CG: AND THE WORST PART IS THAT YOU HAVEN’T FIXED THE INCESSANT PINGING NOISES IN THE FUCKING USELESS AS HELL CLIENT. YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE OH-SO-SUPERIOR BATSHIT INSANE GUY FOR OUR CODES, IF YOU’RE NOT MAKING CONTACT WITH THOSE PINKFLESHED IDIOTS THEN YOU MIGHT AS WELL MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL AND BE OUR COMPUTER MONKEY.

TA: 2iigh.

 

This was the usual routine lately on the meteor. Someone would break something, or mess with something they shouldn’t have been messing with, and he was the one that would have to come and rescue their asses. This wasn’t Sollux’s job. His _dream_ job was to just sit there, quietly, and not be bothered by anyone. But no, his genius leader has appointed him as official computer mechanic. Why couldn’t Karkat just get Equius to do it? He was just as technologically gifted as Sollux was. But one quick glance towards the blue-blood troll answered his own question. The guy was creepy, notorious for just looming over everyone else and not saying a word. However the hell Aradia managed to get past his sweaty shell to mack her lips on him was beyond Sollux.

 

The computer sounded another ping, and his attention was brought back to the screen in front of him, cheek in his hand and propped up by his elbow as he skimmed over the longwinded rants again.

 

CG: IF YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING TO SIT THERE AND IGNORE ME LIKE I KNOW YOU’RE PROBABLY PLANNING-

CG: DON’T YOU DARE BLOCK ME, I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD SOLLUX CAPTOR I WILL PERSONALLY MARCH TO YOUR SEAT AND PROMPTLY SHOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOUR PLASTIC KEYBOARD KEYS DOWN YOUR PROTEIN CHUTE AND MAKE YOU SWALLOW THEM, WITHOUT ANY PRECIOUS MILK TO DOWN IT WITH EITHER.

CG: SOLLUX FUCKING ANSWER ME, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS BULLSHIT.

TA: ii’m here, ii’m here, calm your metaphorical 2hiit2.

TA: ii ju2t need a break.

TA: ever thought maybe we’re never goiing two make iit out aliive?

CG: NO, BECAUSE UNLIKE YOU I DON’T WASTE MY TIME THINKING ABOUT IMPOSSIBLE OUTCOMES. NOW GET TO WORK, I HAVE THINGS TO DO AND I CAN’T WASTE MY TIME BREATHING DOWN YOUR ASS ON EVERY SMALL DETAIL.

TA: ehehe.

TA: 2o you could 2ay you’re breathiing down my a22 now, riight?

CG: BYE.

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA] –-

 

Sollux leaned back on his chair, one leg now dangling from the edge as he rubbed his bottom lip with his index finger. He could just keep bothering Karkat instead, but that would mean he’d have to deal with even more of his yelling, and he knew better than to provoke the small troll into an argument. Besides, he had computers to fix… again.

It had been fun at first, to watch everyone fret over their computers, asking for his help as he had so often warned them they would. But after a while it was tedious, and bothersome, and just plain as hell annoying to deal with every small thing they wanted. He never could recall a moment when they annoyed him more before the game. What with losing their keys, or blue screens appearing, or not even knowing how to work the viewports and timelines, it began to wear on him. It wasn’t long until he cursed himself two-fold for ever listening to Aradia and coding the game to begin with.  He had been a complete imbecile for doing so.

 

Sollux let out a deep breath as he thought back to the times he only needed to deal with his own idiocy. Lately Feferi had been trying to catch his eye, and he’d be lying if he didn’t admit to perhaps responding with some encouragement. But as everything else, he wanted time alone, and she was so insistent on having him close or talking to him about whatever the hell Eridan had told her earlier, or how she missed her seahorses and cuttlefish… Truth be told he couldn’t care any less about all that if he tried, and it was very difficult to hold back his tongue whenever she began those topics all over again.

Speaking of Feferi, it seems his next assignment had to do with her. His trollian was filled with windows of complaints, now flashing constantly as each person typed more, all now dealing with her wet computer. Wait, wet computer? Why in the world would her computer be wet?

It didn’t take long to find out. Just tuning his ears to his surroundings instead of the usual garbled voices was enough to see why. Eridan and her were arguing, and for once Sollux had to give the guy some credit. She had been trying to see if her computer really was waterproof, just like her own tablet back in Alternia. Clearly by their stupid experiment, it wasn’t, and the douchefin was already screaming his head off at her for ruining a perfectly good computer and demanding someone fix it posthaste. Apparently it had attracted the attention of everyone else, seeing as now there were many other shouts and complaints about the water spreading along the desks and potentially harming everyone else’s computers. This was his cue, he supposed, and with his legs feeling heavy, he dragged his feet towards the machine.

 

“I told you it wouldn’t work! But like fuckin’ always you never listen!”

Sollux began gathering the cables and draining out the water onto the floor, making sure it didn’t flood the computer entirely and trying to go unnoticed. The less damage he needed to fix, the better, and that wasn’t limited to just the computers.

“It was a harmless experiment, Eridan!! I don’t need you watching out for me!”

“Whale that’s just your opinion, because clearly you bloody well need my goddamn help for everyfin!”

“Don’t use fish puns to yell at me, fishster!”

Why were they even arguing? More so why was it taking him so long to pick up a few things? Couldn’t he just do this someplace else instead of dealing with this noise? And why _wasn’t this water filtering fast enough?_

“I’ll use fish puns whenever I deem necessary an’ clearly they are if any soul’s gonna have a halfwave decent glub with you!”

She scoffed. Her hands had balled up into fists at her side as her various jewels and necklaces jingled at her jerky movements. Sollux tried again to ignore the conversation, not wanting anything to do with it for the moment.

“If anyone’s a fucking horribubble person to glub to, it’s you, Eridan Ampora!! It was an innocent mistake!! You don’t sea Sollux complaining about it, in fact, NO one is betides yourshellf! I’m getting reel sick of your attitude!”

 

“Hey now, just because I’m right fucking here and not saying anything doesn’t mean it isn’t annoying to have to clean up after everyone’s fuck-ups.” Sollux spoke up. He was still draining the computer of course, and his psionics began grabbing the cords to tie them up and away from the water.

“No one asked you, sewer-blood.” Eridan turned up his nose at him, his voice disgusted and appalled of even having been exposed to the other troll. At Sollux. What the fuck did that even mean?

“I was talking to FF anyway, fishbreath.” He rolled his eyes and gathered up the rest of the computer. “Anyway it doesn’t matter, I can’t work with all you assholes arguing around me. The voices in my head are enough noise.” He began walking towards the transportalizer, Feferi walking behind him.

 

_____________________

 

“Fef don’t you fuckin’ dare leave with that asshole.”

Sollux glanced over his shoulder and effectively so, Feferi had followed him, leaving Eridan to stand glaring at them both, fists at his side and fins flaring, almost daring them both to take one more step. So as to incite the devil of course, Sollux indeed stepped onto the platform on the transportalizer, Feferi climbing up beside him.

“I’m warnin’ you.”

Eridan’s voice had wavered. He scowled, his sharp teeth now showing. As Feferi got comfortable around the equipment, he took another step towards Sollux, who had begun typing in the coordinates. Of course he had been aiming to be alone, that was the whole point. But he supposed pissing off Ampora wouldn’t really make much of a difference, just the fact that he existed at all irked the sea-dweller. Unfortunately for anyone’s expectations, he wasn’t in the least interested in some sort of brawl over whether Feferi would come along or not, especially when, for once, he agreed with the asshole and actually didn’t want her around.

“FF you might as well just stay.” Sollux muttered, clutching the computer equipment close.  “This asshole would just stalk us and I just wanna be on my own. You’re sort of really fucking talkative.” Well, it was true. It was hard enough to be in her constant company, it was even more of a bother to listen to her every single word accompanied by the screams and voices of the imminently deceased in his head.

“But- Sollux, what if you need kelp?” Oh no, her face looked disappointed…

“I’m not gonna need help, for fuck’s sake I can fix a small water issue. I just have a headache.”

“You heard the prick, now get away from the mucus-blooded landlickin’ fucktard Fef.” Eridan just had to ruin it. He just had to continue calling him names. But no. Sollux couldn’t give into the provocation. He was way too busy with other things in his mind… like resting.

It seemed to have worked on Feferi instead, and she quickly marched off of the platform to shove and point her finger at Eridan, angrily calling him names in return and scolding him for his attitude. Sollux took this chance and with a flash of light, he was gone with all of Feferi’s computer equipment.

 

He made it to a grey room (no different from the rest of the lab, but at least the silence was welcome) with large glass cylinders that seemed to have creatures inside. It had somewhat of an eerie green glow to it which, in any other circumstance in which Sollux was more attentive to his surroundings, would have shaken him, or at least provoked some sort of reaction. But the only thing that made this room acceptable enough for anything at all was its silence. Other than the calming bubbling of the liquid inside the cylinders, it was dead silent. Perfect for fixing the damned computer.

It took him a few hours; after all it might as well have been thrown in the ocean. There was way too much water for his comfort, but he drained it all and managed to get the machine working again. It would need to be replaced after some time, but at least it seemed to work considerably well. If anything, the person for this job was Equius… not him. He was a coding expert, not a robotics master. He could work the codes within a computer, but arranging the machine itself was a whole different set of skills.

He should go back. The soft and steady noises in the room that at first had unnerved him instead were calming him, relaxing his muscles as he lay back against the floor and stared at the ceiling. The glow of the cylinders and the liquid inside reflected on it, and it seemed like sweeps he was entranced by the motion of the greenish lights. Green lights that hadn’t doomed its comrades or didn’t need to deal with feelings… or anything for that matter. They just came and went. Much like his moods. Just coming and going, not bothered by anything or anyone…

 

Everything seemed dark again, like he had remembered. It was a void, a nothingness that seemed to envelop his every being; every strand of his charcoal hair was encased in a black hole that absorbed any comforted thought he ever had about himself or his companions. There was no temperature, no comfort, and no familiarity to his meager surroundings, simply what he saw in his glasses in a more crude and raw manner. It was empty, and _he_ felt empty for merely existing there.

There was a soft light in the very distance. A sort of sphere with stars he recognized. Alternian stars that glimmered and sparkled on the surface of the large orb, getting closer and closer.

With a shaky THUD he fell onto what felt like… ground? It smelled strange, still unrecognizable, but he could feel the scent of salt brush his cheeks and settle in his clothing. Sollux didn’t dare open his eyes again, simply taking in this change slowly. A small breeze seemed to invite him closer, and he took a shaky step forward. His foot sank. It wasn’t mud, or water. It lacked a certain smoothness that reminded him of loose dirt. Instead, the ground felt grainy and unstable. Unstable like…

 

_____________________

 

“…Your fuckin’ ass out ‘a the floor, sludgeblood!”

His eyes opened slowly, as he tried to get used to the sudden yelling Sollux seemed to have merited. For what, however, he had absolutely no idea.

“I said get _up_!”

A swoosh was heard, and immediately Sollux recognized it was Eridan’s cape, signaling that the sea-dweller had marched over towards him in an attempt to seem menacing. As if Sollux would honestly be scared of such a pathetic soul. Did he even _have_ a soul?

“What the fuck do you even want, Ampora?” He grunted as he propped himself up on his elbows, the lack of any sopor, or better yet, any other comfortable place for resting having given him a terrible back and headache.  He was in the worst of moods at the time to deal with anyone, much less this moron.

“Fef’s waitin’ for her computer an’ you’re just here nappin’ like the lazy fuck you are. I should’ve known you wouldn’t even handle a reasonably simple task like just fixin’ her computer! We all know you’re the mechanical fuckin’ nerd ‘a this ship but as long as I’m captainin’ all relations to her you’re to do exactly as I say, an’ I demanded her computer be fixed _posthaste_! You _do_ know what that means, right? Or am I goin’ to have to engage in a strongly worded lecture about basic vocabulary skills?” As Sollux rubbed his eye, he caught a glimpse of Eridan’s hand reaching for his Ahab’s Crosshairs. Great, this idiot came to do exactly what Sollux had imagined. He was looking for a fight.

“I suppose you’re expecting me to feel hurt and disappointed in myself, huh?” Accompanied by a snicker, Sollux managed to get on his feet, stretching and yawning afterwards.

Eridan, of course, was insulted. “I’m _expectin’_ you to have some sort ‘a decency an’ be responsible, since this is all your fault anyway—but I guess I was wrong to expect a lowblood like yourself even admit to havin’ a shred ‘a consideration for us higher bloods.”

“I’ll have a shred of consideration for you as soon as you stop behaving like the prince of douchefucks every time you so much as catch a whiff of me like some goddamn hunting beast looking for their poor doomed victim.” He wiped his body, not even bothering to look back at Eridan.

“When you stop actin’ like a lowlife good-for-nothin’ dirtsniffin’ jackass I’ll be sure to issue out the proper memo throughout the vicinity announcin’ your newly acquired decency.”

 “Can you just fuck off? Don’t you have better things to do than deal with my ‘terrible’ fucking existence? Don’t you have someone’s gullet to be shoving your asshole beliefs into? Or did you run out of those?”

“I’m here to do what you couldn’t, an’ bring Fef’s computer back up to her.”

Sollux scoffed. “There’s no way I’m going to let you get your paws on her mechanical property, nookwad.”

“I’m sorry, for a moment there I could’ve sworn you had refused to hand over what doesn’t belong to you.”

He bent down to start picking up the cords and cables. “You heard me right then, I’m surprised your think pan had enough memory left from all the bullshit you store in it to so much as pay half a second of attention to my voice and _fuck off_.”

 

Then the computer was out of reach, skidding across the tile floor and away from Sollux as Eridan pointed his rifle at the other’s stomach. Sollux could almost smell the rage emanating from the highblood, though he was sure he’d never get the other troll to accept it as such. It was, to him, just simple frustration, utter motivation and reason to try and pick a fight with Sollux and lose, as fucking usual. But he wasn’t in the mood for this bullshit. Not now.

“Get your toy away from me.” Sollux straightened his frame, a cynical smirk across his face.

“Make me, shitface. Or better yet, _try_. This is an open invitation to a meager attempt and get my own breathin’ body an inch from where it is situated. Now go ahead.”

“I’m not in the fucking mood, asshole, get the fuck away from me.”

“Fine, then get me Fef’s equipment an’ I’ll promptly leave.”

 

Eridan wasn’t getting it. Sollux was growing impatient and angry, and was a ticking bomb close to exploding with rage at the moment. It was enough that he was frustrated with everyone else, the moment he managed to sleep this asshole wanted to annoy the fuck out of him. Didn’t he have anything else to do? He’d get the computer to Feferi. It wasn’t going to kill anyone to wait just a few more damned minutes.

And with that in mind, Sollux’s eyes sparked up. “I said; _get the fuck away from me_.”

“An’ I said; _make me_.”

He barely felt his knuckles connect with Eridan’s jaw, knocking him back a few steps. He didn’t even notice the way his eyes sparked furiously as he took warning steps closer, watching how Eridan gripped his rifle tight in his hands, pointing it up towards Sollux. There was a light, and Sollux’s psionics made contact with the laser from Eridan’s rifle. The red and blue lasers pushed past the blueish-white energy, getting closer and closer until they began enveloping the rifle, tossing it aside and then the lightshow ceased, Sollux stepping closer once more.

“What the fuck do you even want from me?! So I took a little fucking longer than was necessary, tell me how the fuck that affects your goddamn emotional bladder. Do you really have to metaphorically go that badly?!”

Eridan readied himself to fight back, wiping a dribble of blood from his chin and raising his fists. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

“No, there’s nothing to fucking understand here. You’re being an annoying little shit like fucking usual and I’m trying to tell you to go screw your nook someplace else, _I don’t want any interaction with you whatsoever_. Is that crystal clear enough for you your _majesty_?”

“An’ I wouldn’t want you to interact with me either! I came here for her goddamn bloody computer you assland so fuckin’ give it!!”

“ _TAKE_ IT THEN!” Sollux’s psionics fired up once more, throwing the cables and keyboard towards Eridan as the other troll braced himself for each hit. “TAKE THEM!! I COULDN’T GIVE LESS OF A SHIT HOW SOON OR LATE ANYONE GETS THEIR GODDAMN SHITTY COMPUTERS FIXED OR NOT, JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE.”

His chest was ready to burst, heaving as he panted and glared daggers at the sea dweller, angry that he was still standing there. What would it take for Eridan to leave Sollux alone? Why couldn’t the asshole understand—no, why couldn’t _anyone_ understand that he wanted to be _alone_?

“Forget this. I’m finished with everyone’s bullshit; I’m getting out of here.”

Eridan stood there, staring agape at Sollux as he marched off, towards the transportalizer. Of course he wasn’t going to go someplace else, again, to be interrupted, _again_. He was going to go back to the lab, and may the universe have pity on the poor soul that tried to so much as direct two words at him.

 

_____________________

 

 

A zap of light later, Sollux stepped off the platform and walked towards his computer, his mind racing. He hated everything, he hated being stuck on the meteor, he hated everyone’s helplessness, he hated the feeling of impending doom that seemed to loom over him day and night, and most of all he hated Gamzee’s stupid face as he had walked past him, and Sollux was surprised for a moment as he had managed to discern his friend’s voice from the rest of the screaming mess in his head.

 “Looks like a bro’s wanting to get his miraculous restin’ on. Ain’t no shame in payin’ a small fee to get your motherfucking sleep self all up and activated on my horn pile.”

“Shut up GZ.” Sollux snarled, fixing his glasses on his face as his fingers pinched the bridge of his nose, the psionics still crackling gently behind the red and blue frames.

“Alright then bro, if you ever change your mind you know where I’ll be sittin’ on my anchor of restful sleep and all, waiting for the signal for your up and coming recess.”

 

Sollux didn’t bother on replying. He was too frustrated, too busy angrily yelling at himself in his head, and too distracted to pay attention to the small patter of footsteps that followed him. Once he took his seat in front of his computer, he managed to recognize the voice, along with the light jingles of her jewelry once more.

“Sollux, are you ocray? You look reely upset.”

“Just leave me alone FF.” He hunched closer to the computer, typing away the passcode to open up his trollian once more, and minimizing all the bothersome chat windows from his friends. He felt her hand on his shoulder and attempted to shrug it off, but she held on.

“Eridan went looking for you, you took an awfully long tide and I was worried—”

“I said leave me alone. I’m not in the goddamn mood.”

“Oh.” She pulled her hand away gently, instead giving him a gentle pat on his head. “Whale later on we can glub about it, just don’t get too caught up in your net of feelings.”

“Yeah just—go.”

She gave him one last sad look behind her goggles, brushing a lock of hair from her face behind her fin and backed away, turning to face the other trolls and shaking her head. Of course she’d go and tell everyone about his feelings. Because she wasn’t one to keep her mouth quiet on matters that didn’t concern her, even if it _was_ her computer. He hadn’t been looking forward to talking to Feferi, much less anyone else. He needed to get his thoughts straight, to close his eyes and think and not be bothered by the petty needs of anyone else’s shit.

It didn’t take long for Karkat to walk up to him instead.

“Where the fuck were you? I told everyone no wandering off, _ever_! Did you fix—”

“Yes, now go away.”

“Woah, what the fuck is the matter with you now? Did someone literally spit all over her computer and make you reconstruct a Frankensteinish monster of horrible physical qualities so monstrous you were scarred for life—”

“Just—I don’t want to talk to anyone. Leave me the fuck alone, can’t anyone get that? I just want to be left alone and all you guys do is whine about your broken shit; get EQ to do it, otherwise I don’t fucking care.”

“So basically your think pan decided today would be the day you’ll out on us and become entirely autonomous under my command, yeah, alright. Let’s go with that. You get the day off, there you go, granted autonomy from yours truly.” Karkat leaned closer to Sollux, trying to catch sight of his face, but the other troll simply looked away. “Alright alright, fine. Full independence for today, congrats, planet fucking Sollux Captor, you are not part of the Adorabloodthirsty brigade officially starting and ending today. You can thank me later. Get your think pan on straight by tomorrow.”

 

No reaction.

 

“By the way have you seen the prince of idiots? He went off looking for you and he isn’t back yet.”

Sollux shrugged and shook his head, still not looking at Karkat. He didn’t want to talk, and though he seemed calmer on the outside he was pure fire and anger on the inside. He lifted his hand to his own cheek and rested it there, idly browsing his computer and typing in different ATH codes to seem busy.

“Okay I get it, you’re pissed. Just—get better, alright? Not sure if you noticed but you’re our commanding chief of our technological situation here, and by the looks of it we sort of need all the help we can get. So make sure your shitty mood is over by tomorrow for sure.” Karkat leaned away again and let out a sigh.

 

Sollux didn’t really notice when he had left. He was too engrossed in his own mind, searching through the tunnels of his psyche to find out why the hell he had gotten so uncontrollably angry at Eridan. Trying to calm _himself_ down. Trying for once to remember what it was he had seen when he was asleep. The void, the pitch black emptiness that seemed to reflect his control over himself, the situations that surrounded him, the voices he was so often plagued with. The revisit to old memories, reminiscing about how close, _they had been so close to winning_ and it was all lost, and he had needed to die twice, he was told, but so far he only had done so once. He knew how things _needed_ to be, but the question was why couldn’t things be as he _wanted_ them to be? He knew everything terrible that was meant to happen, but he wasn’t a time player. He’d never know why everything was the way it was and what would be the outcome of it all, his only mission was to profess and almost certainly assure their demise. As if he wasn’t negative enough.

He typed again some codes, pointless. Pointless words and letters across a screen that wouldn’t do jack shit to help anyone. He let out a heavy sigh and tried to focus on what Feferi had said. Feferi, as if she had any idea how it felt to deal with this constant weight on his chest. As if she could understand how much it hurt to like being around her and hating it all the same. To sit with her and know that he didn’t necessarily like _being_ with her more than he just _tolerated_ her. To listen to her argue with Eridan and know that if there’s anyone in the whole universe he doesn’t understand, it’s that asshole.

That asshole that threw everything away. Who even reveals their feelings like that? In the middle of the fray, where everyone was on their own and needed to focus on the task at hand. Sollux shook his head. Eridan was a complete idiot with no tact, no empathy, and the fact that he even managed to accompany them end-game was a puzzling thought all in itself that made his brain pulse violently against his skull. He didn’t understand, and he didn’t want to.

At least the headache he was now experiencing helped distract him from the tangled mess he felt inside. Sollux gripped the computer mouse tightly in his fist as he opened up the chats; typing semi-comforting (more like increasingly insulting) responses to everyone.

 


	2. A Second Round

Sollux was exhausted. After the small fight with Eridan it seemed everyone was breathing down his neck to get the details, where he had wandered off to, and what had caused the fight. The fact that the sea dweller returned with a bruised chin and all of Feferi’s equipment hadn’t helped. Of course no one pitied him; in fact they nearly threw a damn party for Sollux. A damned unnecessary party. The last thing he ever wanted to think about was Eridan goddamn Ampora. He didn’t _hate_ him. Not like Eridan hated Sollux. The highblood troll was no more than a thorn on Sollux’s side, aching and pestering whenever he was most distracted by more important issues. It seemed that no matter how often he’d tell the guy to just fuck off, he wouldn’t go. His excuses were always ridiculous. ‘Fef asked me to’, or ‘I was lookin’ for somethin’ I left around here.’

He couldn’t say that the douche wasn’t attractive. Admittedly compared to Sollux, Eridan was a lot more eligible. But then again, paired with such an attitude, he’d rather kiss the underside of Gamzee’s foot rather than get near Eridan for more than a few minutes at a time. Besides, he was much too busy being attracted and enticed by Feferi to be thinking of some other asshole. Who was he thinking about again?

 

Oh yeah, it didn’t matter.

 

His thoughts trailed off as he browsed through his computer once more. He found himself remembering how he had dozed off, thinking about that empty darkness he had encountered when he had fallen asleep. Then the lights. The stars. He knew them, they seemed so familiar and yet they had a different air to them entirely. Speaking of air, it also smelled different. It had been almost humid.

Sollux brought his attention back to the computer. He needed to focus; already he was getting more messages from his friends. They should know better than to bother him at this time, and so he ignored them.  

The thud he had felt when his feet landed on the ground… The ground itself felt so strange. A foreign familiarity. In fact, now that he thought about it, the whole damned atmosphere had changed considerably from the dark vortex that nearly consumed him.

He needed to go there again.

In fact, he needed to go there right now.

Sollux turned his head just an inch to the side. His eyes shifted behind him, observing everyone else. Feferi was chatting away with… no one cared who, it was irrelevant. Kanaya was covering her computer screen, a jade blush across her cheeks. Whatever she was hiding was probably dumb. Aradia was… nowhere to be seen. Neither was Equius, which was expected. Nepeta was also typing away eagerly to someone with some sort of pink text. Karkat wouldn’t need to be worried about, he had left Sollux alone for a reason, and he was about to reap the benefits of this goddamn blessing.

This was enough observing.

Everyone was clearly busy; this was his best chance to go.

He pushed himself away from the computer, standing and taking cautious steps towards the transportalizer. No one had noticed him so far. He input the coordinates again, the same ones from the room he had been in before, and instantly was zapped into it. Stepping off of the platform he walked to the center of the green-glowing room. Nothing had changed all that much, not that he had expected it to. The whole meteor had a dreadful monotone feeling to it all, never changing for itself, always waiting for someone to move something or break something, the only change of scenery any of them would ever get. Sollux shook his head and rested his hand on one of the large glass cylinders. It still reeked of tension from the fight he had with Eridan. Hopefully it wouldn’t interrupt his sleep too much.

He lied down in the middle room, his eyes half-lidded and staring at the ceiling. He had dozed off back then by staring at the shapes on the ceiling, at observing the way the water seemed to change and shift the lights above his head. He took in a deep breath. What else did he think about? It hadn’t really wandered from there. He shut his eyes. He could still see the shifting shapes through his eyelids, albeit blurry and just barely. But it casted shadows on his eyes behind the thin skin covering them. Closing his eyes hadn’t hidden the miserable envy he felt for the fluid, smooth movements of the lights overhead. He reached onto his face and took off his glasses, setting them aside and letting out a deep breath again.

 

He tried to keep his breathing steady.

His muscles each relaxed, one by one, incredibly slow as if each one was a knot that was taking its time detangling itself from the rest of him until he could barely feel his body. The lights seem to move slower, and he could’ve sworn he felt every motion that the meteor did. Every shift, every step taken, he could feel it connect with him on the cold ground.

 

Soon enough it wasn’t cold anymore.

Soon enough he couldn’t feel a single thing.

When Sollux opened his eyes again, he could hear the faint call of birds cawing in the distance. His eyes widened as he found himself staring straight at the ocean, stretching all the way onto the horizon, where the sky seemed to merge with the water, twinkling stars shining on the reflective surface. His lips parted as he took in a quick breath, stepping away from it all, and nearly falling flat on his ass when he stumbled and tripped on the sand. Sollux managed to catch himself, glancing around him. What the hell was this place?

Obviously it was a beach. It didn’t mean that he knew exactly where though. He had seen this place in pictures on his computer, but _where_?

“Sol... Is that you?”

Oh fuck no.

“It _is_!!”

Oh _fuck_ no.

“Sol!!”

This wasn’t happening.

That couldn’t be who he thought it was.

 

“You made it!”  Eridan reached for the other troll’s hand to face him, a wide smile on his face.  “I was beginning to have my doubts ‘a course, but I knew you’d come through in the end, I should’ve known! It was about time too, I was beginnin’ to ready myself to be welcomed into the quitter’s league ‘a waitin’ for Captors. Where have you be—”

“ _Don’t touch me._ ”Sollux spat back, snatching his hand away and stepping a few feet back. What the everloving _fuck_ was Eridan doing here? He was still asleep, right? Of course, this wasn’t the meteor! But why was Eridan there? What was he going on about? He acted as though Sollux had gone missing for an insanely large amount of time, when he had just taken a nap a few floors beneath the lab.

“What? Sol it’s me, this is you, right? You’re Sollux Captor an’ you an’ I had this fight an’ you told me—”

Sollux cut him off.

“I know what I told you, and I thought that would be fucking enough to keep you the hell away from me as much as possible. Clearly I was fucking wrong. What the hell are you doing here? I can’t fucking get away from you while I’m awake, now I got to be eternally tortured with you while I’m asleep too? Please tell me who the fuck I killed or mauled or doomed to deserve this godforsaken fate. Please oh fucking _please_ tell me who I promptly had a good projectile shit on so I can go beg for forgiveness and send them a nice realistic, life-sized version of every one of my organs as a peace offering to spare me from your very existence.”

Eridan froze. Sollux’s chest was heaving, angry; frustrated that he couldn’t be alone once. Just fucking _once_ he wanted to be on his own, for fuck’s sake why was this so difficult to achieve? He grasped at his own hair, tugging it. Gritting his teeth as much as he could, he could already feel small sparks emanating from behind his own red and blue glasses. The way things were going he might as well succumb to eternal madness from introvert dementia. This was too much to handle already.

 

“Yeah I figured you didn’t have anything to say to that, jackass. Mind getting the fuck out of here so I can find out where the hell I am?” Sollux snarled at him.

Eridan met his gaze with a flat expression, his voice steady. “You’re at the beach.”

“No shit are you serious?” He turned around and clasped his hands to his cheeks in a faked surprised expression. “Holy _fuck_ would you look at that? It’s water and sand and—Wow it seems the prince of morons was right!! This really _is_ a beach! I can’t believe it; my mind has been blown away like the saliva from a barkbeast with his head out a mobile transportation vehicle! I am the world’s drool that has crashed against this windshield called ‘a beach’, and you, Eridan Ampora, alias lord of the douchefucks, are the wipers that have stretched my whole vessel into eye-opening revelation! Congratu- _fucking_ -lations!!”

“I’m not appreciatin’ your sarcastic retorts here, an’ I didn’t say _a_ beach, I said _the_ beach.”

“The beach, _a_ beach, because pronouns make such a goddamn fucking difference in this point in time; the enlightenment continues, ladies and trolls!”

“Would you _kindly_ shove it? What the fuck even got over you? I’m here all glad an’ fuckin’ beside myself with joy waitin’ for you to show up, hell, when I saw you almost fall onto the sand last time an’ then disappear I thought for sure you were just another apparition or somethin’, an’ yet here you are after what, sweeps? Sweeps, lookin’ for your pathetic ass to show up!”

“What are you even _talking_ about?” Sollux glared at him, examining Eridan again. He looked the same. Same terribly slicked back hair, same long sleeved black shirt. He was missing his cape, it surprised him that Eridan took it off ever, but he expected it at some point.

 

Wait.

 

Sollux looked closer. Looking up at Eridan’s face. Through the lens of the other troll’s thick-rimmed glasses.

His eyes were entirely white.

“What the fuck is wrong with your eyes?”

“For fuck’s sake—” Eridan rolled his eyes (or at least, this is what Sollux assumed he had done), and pointed to himself, spitting through his teeth. “I’m _dead_ , asshole.”

That wasn’t true. That _couldn’t_ be true. Eridan couldn’t be dead; it wasn’t too long ago when he had seen the asshole storming around the lab. Why would he be dead? How could he have died? There was absolutely no way for him to actually be gone—not that it should’ve bothered Sollux. It didn’t, sort of. Kind of. It bothered a little. But how could it not, when he saw one of his friends (Sollux shuddered as he mentally thought of Eridan as a sort of distant friend) actually dead? Was this his corpse or his spirit—how did death exactly work? Obviously he couldn’t use his own experience for it, he had been kissed back to life and Aradia had a robot body. So he quite honestly had absolutely no goddamn idea how the fuck death was supposed to affect anyone. He knew somewhere he was supposed to cry, but tears didn’t come.

“Are you gonna say somethin’ or are you goin’ to stand there with your mouth half open an’ puttin’ into action your droolin’ metaphor?” Eridan crossed his arms. Something just didn’t make sense here.

“I didn’t—you—”

“We, he, she, they, yes I very well grasp what pronouns are an’ I’m aware ‘a how they’re supposed to be used. Unless you’ve somehow decided to make a miraculous change to another sort ‘a identity I’m sure I haven’t misused any words so far, so fuckin’ get to the point. Why are your eyes not different?” Eridan’s hands flew to his hips in impatient anticipation. Wait a second.

Different?

“Why should they even be different? What does that have to do with me sleeping? What—Fuck it, that’s not even what I’m asking here. I didn’t listen to you die, how could you be dead? I would’ve heard your voice through the constant headaches or at least some weird garbled version of it torturing my hearing ducts.”

“Don’t ask _me_ how your voices work, I’ve been alone for who knows how long, an’ I ain’t miraculously gonna sprout the knowledge an’ answers to every small an’ practically insignificant inquiry you decide to kindly vomit in my vicinity. How about _you_ explain yourself?”

“What the fucking shit am I even supposed to explain here?”

Eridan let out a loud groan, throwing his hands in the air overdramatically. His voice was exasperated. “Are you kiddin’ me? I know you were fuckin’ stupid but I didn’t think you were _this_ clueless!! _The bubbles, Sol, the time you spent in ‘em!_ ”

Sollux simply looked puzzled. What was he talking about? What about bubbles and what the hell was he going on about him being stupid? If anything, Eridan sounded like he had lost his mind.

 

Yeah, that had to be it. This was just a nightmare and he was dreaming of Eridan going entirely insane. Eridan was probably going to kill him too, torture every single one of his receptive organs with as much interaction as possible. His ears were going to bleed from the other’s voice, his eyes were going to roll to the back of his head (not that anyone would be able to tell), and each of his tactile nerves were going to consequentially implode on themselves. Any moment now he was going to sprout an extra pair of everything and do a fucking pirouette into the sunset. Soon.

“Any moment now.” Sollux glanced down at his own extremities, expecting with all his heart to actually grow a pair of everything.

“What the fuck are you talkin’ about?”

“Shut up for a sec, I think I need to concentrate on this.”

Eridan leered at him, his arms stretched out at his sides, looking around and demanding an answer to Sollux’s confusing behavior. “Concentrate on _what_? On fuckin’ pissin’ me off? You’re doin’ a real fuckin’ great job ‘a that let me tell you, never in all ‘a my sweeps have I met someone so fuckin’ stubborn an’ self centered, focused on their own silly goddamn whims an’—”

“Goddamn it do you ever even take a breath long enough to _shut up_?”

“No, I don’t need to, because in case your hearing ducts were too distracted with the sound ‘a perfect fuckin’ silence in this place, I’m _dead_!!”

Sollux was still ignoring him. He looked down at his feet. One, two. Still the same. His arms; one, two. His torso was still intact; his eyes seemed to have the same twofold annoying as fuck vision as always. Just to make sure, he tugged at his pants and peeked inside.

Nope. Everything seemed normal.

Except for the apparently dead Eridan still talking to him.

“…waitin’ like some sort of fuckin’ hivemate for you an’ you just— _Why are you lookin’ into your pants you perverted sick fuck?_ ”

“Huh?” Sollux’s eyes shot upwards, towards Eridan’s once more. His eyes were still entirely white, however, and it made him shudder, how empty yet full of rage they seemed. He felt somewhat proud he was the cause of it though. “Oh, I was checking something. None of your business; carry on with whatever uninteresting bullshit topic you were somehow thinking was still interesting or relevant to anything I might remotely care about.”

“This is exactly why I knew I shouldn’t have entrusted any sort ‘a commitment to you in any which way, the fact that you haven’t changed in any goddamn way since I last saw you is fuckin’ _typical_.”

“Hey that’s not true; I’ve changed plenty since the last time we met about… two days ago. I think. You mean emotionally, right? Because my moods change faster than I can switch out my underwear.”

“You’re disgustin’.”

“Oh no my feelings, whatever will I do? How in the fuck am I going to deal with such a sick burn from the master of insults here, Eridan Ampora? Ladies and gentlemen, the bell has rung and the master of words is—Ampora! Whatever will you do with all the prize money? Buy a new moirail? Buy that matesprit you’ve always wanted?” Sollux accompanied his taunting with overdramatic expressions, raising his hands to shoulder level in a fake expression of surprise. It only made his own grin widen when he saw how fierce the scowl on Eridan’s face was.

“Did I hurt the Princess’ feelings?” Sollux snickered, now crossing his arms.

“ _No_.” Eridan was seething, his voice a low hiss through his teeth.

“Well then obviously my job’s not done right here. I’ve failed you, woops. Can you leave now?”

“ _No._ ”

“As in, you don’t want to leave now, because you’re on a hell-bent mentality of entirely torturing me every second you get by following me everywhere we go, including my sleep.  Great. Just fucking spectacular.” He sighed and turned around, massaging his temple. Maybe he should’ve paid Gamzee for this nap and taken it in the hornpile instead. He would probably keep better watch of his sleep than lying on the floor of a seemingly empty room entirely alone without any protection. Sollux gritted his teeth now, trying to rationalize his way out of this place. He could wake up, right? He knew how to wake up. But he needed sleep. He desperately had looked forward to sleep, especially after seeing this place…

 

Why was there a beach in his dreams anyway?

It made sense for it to be here if Eridan was here though, because clearly this was leaning more to a nightmare than an actual dream. A real dream of his would have him back in his hive with his games, if anything something completely unhealthy to eat, not dealing with water or sand or his friend’s melodramatic nonsense.

Sollux began to reevaluate his life trying to find out what exactly he had done to piss someone off enough to punish him this way.

“So now you’re just goin’ to ignore me?” Eridan suddenly spoke out, making Sollux jump at the sound of his voice. He ignored the almost hurt tone that the sea dweller spoke in.

“That was the plan. Ooh shit you’ve found me out.” He tried to inject as much sarcasm and venom into his voice as he could.

“This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen.”

“Yeah well shit happens and you can’t control it, right? Then you gotta deal with everyone else’s screw ups that happen to be collectively shoved up your nook so hard you can’t ignore them either.”

Eridan didn’t answer. He was done. He had enough of this torture. Sollux was officially fucking finished. He would probably overcook if he was anymore finished with Eridan than he already was. And if it wasn’t for the humidly cool breeze of the beach, he’d actually feel overcooked.

He had to get out of there.

“How the fuck do I wake up?”

“Wait—you’re asleep? As in, sleepin’ like… Like alive asleep?”

“No I’m dead and I’m asking how to skip through daisies.” He rolled his eyes. “I made a huge fucking mistake in falling asleep and I’m asking you to shove your vomit-stenched attitude somewhere else and tell me how to fucking wake up.”

“I—uh… I don’t…” Eridan shrugged. “You’d always just… snap your eyes open suddenly.”

“So basical—Wait, how do you know? Do you watch me _sleep_?” Sollux backed away again, a disgusted look on his face. This was way too much torture. As soon as he woke up he was going to apologize to everyone for anything he ever did.

Well. Almost everyone.

“You make it sound like I had any other choice!”

“Yeah, actually, you do! How about _not_ watching me sleep? How about just fucking minding your own business and not interrupting my dreams? How about just getting the FUCK out of my life? Let me repeat it again in case you missed it last time I fucking yelled it at your pathetic face: I. _DON’T_. WANT YOU. NEAR ME. _EVER_.”

Eridan’s face began to contort into… into pain? He looked hurt, and taken aback, his eyes glassy and his lip quivering. It caused Sollux to fall into both disgust and regret. He didn’t want to make the douchebag _cry_. He just wanted to get away. Sollux’s hands flew to his head, the pulsing growing louder and louder. Eridan crossed his arms, taking in deep and steady breaths. Sollux could swear he heard a sniffling sound coming from him.

 

_____________________

 

His heart was racing as his elbows propped him up halfway in a jerky movement. Eyes wide open, Sollux examined his surroundings. It smelled like dust and dirt. Everything was green again. He then laid back down slowly, his arm over his forehead as he took deep breaths to calm himself. What the hell had happened?

“I swear I’m never going to fall asleep again.”

He muttered to himself. Time to think back to what he had done that bought him a fresh new dead Eridan for his dreams. He had fallen asleep, and gotten out of the void faster than usual. Maybe that’s where he went wrong? Maybe he needed to dwell on it longer; it might’ve been some sort of shield or armor from possible threats in his nightmares, like the lord of desperation.

But then that doesn’t explain why the first time he had dozed off he had felt he was at the beach. How did nightmares work anyway?

His arm lowered to cover his eyes, taking in deep breaths still.

 

Why was Eridan there? And why the hell couldn’t he erase that hurt face the asshole had made? It was like he knew something Sollux didn’t, and the way that he spoke seemed like he really had been expecting him to sleep. Well of course, if he had been plotting something against Sollux it’d be clear he was expecting him. There was a beach there, he probably wanted to shove Sollux into the water, and he’d be damned if he was letting that fishface fucktard touch him. But that still didn’t explain why he had been talking like he was expecting Sollux to be _nice_.

Eridan had mentioned something about some sort of commitment between him and Sollux. What was that about? He didn’t have any commitment with anyone. Other than the computer he had to return to Feferi, but he had already done that, so it was obviously not anything relating to that. Well, Eridan had done that for him. He was half thankful, but he could’ve just as well given the equipment himself without any need for meticulous nose-sticking into his business.

Sollux glanced around to make sure no one was there. Nope, not a soul. Good.

His goal to be alone obviously wouldn’t work, especially if Eridan would be in his dreams as well. Did he say dreams? He meant horrid, unthinkable nightmares. He’d have to avoid sleep. Maybe that’s why Karkat insisted he never rest for the rest of the game. Maybe the poor guy had already run into Eridan in his dreams too and had proceeded to have a verbal showdown with the fuckwad. Sollux made a mental note to congratulate Karkat on his triumphs and to thank him for the warning.

So that was going to be his plan then? To avoid sleep whatever the cost. Simple enough. If everyone else could avoid sleep, so could he, twice as much. He’d just distract himself with extra computer work to not pay attention to his headaches.  With this in mind, Sollux grunted and stood, his psionics jamming his glasses back onto his nose. His hand reached behind him, scratching at his hair and trying to make it look as disheveled as he could, to contrast the flat patch of hair he had on the back of his head for lying down so long against the floor. Boarding the transportalizer he typed in the coordinates for the lab again and zapped back onto the platform.

 

Kanaya stood in front of him, her eyes looking up at him with a small gasp of surprise at the horrid state of his hair. Sollux gave her a lazy wave and proceeded to clamber off of the platform, but felt her fingers wrap around his wrist and jerk him back towards her.

“What—augh come _on_ I just got back, don’t tell me you got shit for me to fix all over again KN.”

“I am merely attempting to tame the wild beast sitting atop your head.” She began patting down the wisps of hair that stuck straight up from his skull, tugging it sharply.

“Are you serious? No, GTFO, I’m going to my computer.” He tried to walk away, but only receive a sharper yank from her.

“I was in the process of searching for you regardless of that monstrous insult to everyone’s visual fields to ask for your help. My viewport seems to have a problem.” She patted down a bit more and attempted to stick up his hair where it usually did.

“Fine just—” Sollux swatted her hands away from his head, scowling. “Stop touching my hair already.”

“Very well.” Her hands pulled away and rested on her hips instead, smoothing down the red skirt she always wore. Sollux walked over to her station, where her computer was, effectively, displaying an error screen as the mouse hovered over the viewport button.

“The fuck did you even do? You messed up the whole configuration for this, and why is there a black lipstick line on the screen?” He reached with the hem of his shirt to begin wiping at it.

“I was attempting to censor material not appropriate for our views, should anyone carelessly wander into my area and peek at what I’m doing.” As she said this, Sollux noticed her shoot a look at Vriska, who was too busy laughing at her computer and typing away rapidly. He grunted and began opening various other windows to counteract the terrible attempt at coding that Kanaya had done.

“What were you looking at that was so honestly terrible? I never pegged you for a porno-looking type, KN, I could give you some good recommendations if you want, ones that won’t bother your viewport configurations—”

He received a sharp slap at his shoulder, and returned it with a chuckle.

 

“I was doing no such thing, and you will refrain from mentioning this in any sort of manner. Unfortunately the humans have no shame or sense of foreign culture sensitivity.” She crossed her arms and shot a glare at her screen. It didn’t take Sollux long to figure out exactly what she was talking about. The viewport itself had apparently frozen on one specific frame, and there was a bucket in plain view. He quickly fixed the video feed and managed to get it running again, skipping it to some other part of the timeline. Once he was finished, he raised his eyebrows at Kanaya, smirking.

“You have fun with that human, looks like they’re having enough fun with you.”

“I don’t think the former is possible.” She glanced nervously at the screen, taking her seat once more. “Thank you.”

“Yeah okay whatever.” He walked back towards his computer, managing to not be bothered on the way.  Taking his seat he hunched over his computer once more, messing up his hair again as he opened up a new ATH document and a few chat windows. It was time to start this business and he proceeded to taunt his friends again, creating various codes he supposed they might need later.

 

This was day one of him staying awake.

 

Day one of the rest of his life.


End file.
